Ark of the Sun God (1983)

Original title: I Sopravvissuti della Città Morta

Indiana Jones-ripp off. Italy/Turkey. Starring David Warbeck, John Steiner, Susie Sudlow & Alan Collins. Directed by Antonio Margheriti.

DVD: Pulp Video (Italy). English language options. Widescreen. Pretty good quality.

This Indiana Jones-copy is pretty slow and a little bit bit boring, but picks up considerable during the last half hour. Warbeck does his usual poor-mans-Bond thing. 2/5

Hundra (1983)

Fantasy/Amazons. Spain/USA. Starring Laurene Landon, Cihangir Gaffari, María Casal & Luis Lorenzo. Directed by Matt Cimber.

Thorn-Emi (Sweden). English language. Fullscreen.

Very cool and entertaining entry in the hot-amazon-warrior-kicking-male-butt genre, one of my sword and sorcery favorites. Another thing I liked: the film's "feminist message" feels a little less half-assed and more from the heart than in similiar b-films of the era, say something like Cirio H. Santiago's The Sisterhood or Corman's Barbarian Queen. 4/5

Hundra (1983)

Fantasy/Amazons. Spain/USA. Starring Laurene Landon, Cihangir Gaffari, María Casal & Luis Lorenzo. Directed by Matt Cimber.

DVD: Subversive Cinema (USA). English language. Widescreen. Great quality. Disc includes the original Ennio Morricone soundtrack.

Very cool and entertaining entry in the hot-amazon-warrior-kicking-male-butt genre, one of my sword and sorcery favorites. Another thing I liked: the film's "feminist message" feels a little less half-assed and more from the heart than in similiar b-films of the era, say something like Cirio H. Santiago's The Sisterhood or Corman's Barbarian Queen. 4/5

Diamonds of Kilimandjaro (1983)

Original title: El Tesoro de la Diosa Blanca

Jungle adventure. Spain/France. Starring Katja Bienert, Antonio Mayans, Aline Mess, Olivier Mathot, Daniel White, Lina Romay & Daniel Katz. Directed by Jesus Franco.

DVD: Shriek Show (USA). Widescreen. English dubbed. Good quality.

I was heavily intoxicated when I saw this (perhaps that's the proper way to watch it) but I remember quite liking it. Franco at his silliest. 3/5

Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983)

Fantasy. UK. Starring Richard Hatch, John Saxon, Kay Lenz, Peter O'Farrell & Kenneth Hendel. Directed by Terry Marcel.

IP (Sweden). English language. Fullscreen.

Marcel, the man behind Hawk the Slayer obviously picked up a thing or two since his first stab at directing because this is a much professional looking and entertaining film. Good fun. 3/5

The Throne of Fire (1983)

Original title: Il Trono di Fuoco

Fantasy. Italy. Starring Peter McCoy, Sabrina Siani, Harrison Muller Jr. & Pietro Ceccarelli. Directed by Franco Prosperi.

VTC (Sweden). English dubbed. Fullscreen.

Another cheap sword and sorcery flick by Prosperi with the usual actors, but at least it's better than the slow-mo yawn The Invicible Barbarian. A slow-moving and very low budget film with a synth score that kind of works if you like the genre and watch it alone late at night. But of course it's not "good". 2/5

Thor the Conqueror (1983)

Original title: Thor il Conquistatore

Fantasy. Italy. Starring Conrad Nichols, Malisa Longo, Maria Romano, Raf Baldassarre & Christopher Holm. Directed by Tonino Ricci.

VTC (Sweden). English dubbed. Fullscreen.

The dumbest, cheapest, crappiest, most moronic sword and sorcery flick imaginable. It's not without a certain Grade Z appeal though. Who could resist lines like "the woman is weak, Thor - take her!" (it's one of the most unashamedly sexist - even pro-rape- films in history and all the funnier for it) or "centuries from now this will be called a Horse". This swedish video release states that "Leading man Conrad Nichols has a disarming charm behind his muscles" on the cover, possibly the biggest lie in video cover history. While one of the worst films on this blog, Thor is not without its entertainment value and should be watched at least once. 2/5

Hearts and Armour (1983)

Original title: I Paladini - Storia D'armi e D'amori

Fantasy. Italy/USA. Starring Ron Moss, Rick Edwards, Tanya Roberts, Tony Vogel, Al Cliver & Hal Yamanouchi. Directed by Giacomo Battiato.

Warner Home Video (UK). English dubbed. Fullscreen.

A stylish and reasonably entertaining fantasy/knights film from Italy. The verdict may be either "better han usual" or "not cheezy enough" depending on your point of view. 3/5

Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)

Original title: Il Mondo di Yor

Fantasy/Sci-fi. Italy/Turkey. Starring Reb Brown, Corinne Clery, Luciano Pigozzi, Carole André & John Steiner. Directed by Antonio Margheriti.

Vestron Video (Sweden). English dubbed. Fullscreen.

Wonderful slice of hokum that starts off as a stoneage fantasy flick and turns into a Star Wars/Mad Max-copy in the last 30 minutes. I love, love, LOVE Yor! It was shot in Turkey and was originally released as a TV mini-series in Italy and edited down to feature lenght for the international video release. I also have a DVD-R of the TV-series (in italian with no subs). 4/5

The Seven Magnificent Gladiators (1983)

Original title: I Sette Magnifici Gladiatori

Peplum/Fantasy. Italy. Starring Lou Ferrigno, Sybil Danning, Brad Harris, Dan Vadis & Carla Ferrigno. Directed by Bruno Mattei & Claudio Fragasso.

Syme Video Gold (Australia). English dubbed. Widescreen.

In the Conan-crazed days of the early eighties a few (way too few if you ask me) italian films were made that tried follow the trend while looking back at the roots: the Hercules and Maciste films of the fifties and sixties. And for some reason they all starred everybody's favorite deaf bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno - perhaps not the world greatest actor but a well-oiled bundle of Belgian Blue charm none the less! This very cheezy by the infamous C-movie Gods Mattei & Fragasso movie is not what many would call a good film, but shoot me: it entertains me a lot! Ferrigno returned with two even more entertaining Hercules-films by Luigi Cozzi (a man with a great talent for childish sci-fi pulp). 3/5

Master of the World (1983)

Original title: I Padroni del Mondo

Fantasy (sort of). Italy. Starring Sven Kruger, Sasha D'Arc & Aldo Sambrell. Directed by Alberto Cavallone.

SPO Video (Japan). English dubbed narration and ugh!-language with no subs. Widescreen.

A violent and very bleak semi-serious stoneage epic á la Quest For Fire. For some reason this film always makes me depressed and it's not a title I revisit often. It was the last film directed by failed arthouse director turned angry porn director Cavallone and ironically the only one he did that got dubbed in english (the film's dialouge consists only of "ugh!":s save for the narration at the beginning and end). Cavallone also wrote the less serious but more fun stoneage flick Ironmaster. I doubt that this film will ever turn on on anybody's favorite film-lists but you have to see it at least once. 2/5

Ironmaster (1983)

Original title: La Guerra del Ferro - Ironmaster

Fantasy. Italy/France. Starring Sam Pasco, Elvire Audray, George Eastman, William Berger & Peter McCoy. Directed by Umberto Lenzi.

Medusa Video (UK). English dubbed. Letterboxed.

One of the best covers on this blog - and the film is not bad either. Fun stone age nonsense with bearlike Eastman in one of his best roles as the villanous Vood (sporting one of the best fur hats in history). Sam Pasco as the hero Ela on the other hand... Yeeesh, I don't think I have ever seen a worse bodybuilder-come-actor before (he makes Kirk Morris look like Marlon Brando) - it's been a long journey but you finally did it, Sammy boy! 3/5

Conquest (1983)

Fantasy. Italy/Spain/Mexico. Starring Jorge Rivero, Andrea Occhipinti & Sabrina Siani. Directed by Lucio Fulci.

VCL (Holland). English dubbed. Fullscreen.

Fulci's unique, fog-filled and freeform contribution to the sword and sorcery genre has it's fair share of detractors even among his hardcore fanbase (and their critique is valid on many points), but personally I love this film! I would recommend approaching in a similiar way you approach a good Jess Franco film instead of your typical Conan ripp off - don't worry about lack of logic, character development or the nonsensical "plot" and just try to enjoy the sinister, fog-filled atmosphere, the spectacular gore, the wonderful Simonetti synth score, the magic crossbows, wolfmen and Sabrina Siani's tits... Okay, so it doesn't make any sense, but neither did City of the Living Dead! 4/5

The Falcon (1983)

Original title: Banovic Strahinja

Fantasy (sort of)/Historical (sort of). Yugoslavia/West Germany. Starring Franco Nero, Dragan Nikolic, Sanja Vejnovic, Rade Serbedzija & Gert Fröbe. Directed by Vatroslav Mimica.

Video Communication (Sweden). English dubbed. Fullscreen.

Good, but somewhat problematic film based on a medieval serbian folktale. It's very much a child of it's time, riding the wave of serbian nationalism that exploded after Tito's death, and it certainly demonices muslims. We all know how well that ended. It's also very sexist. But Franco Nero is good as always and it's a violent and gritty film with attractive photography and a fairy tale/fantasy touch (even though there's no supernatural stuff going on as far as I remember) that I really enjoyed. Who can say no to that? 3/5

The Falcon (1983)

Original title: Banovic Strahinja

Fantasy (sort of)/Historical (sort of). Yugoslavia/West Germany. Starring Franco Nero, Dragan Nikolic, Sanja Vejnovic, Rade Serbedzija & Gert Fröbe. Directed by Vatroslav Mimica.

Delta Video (Holland). English dubbed. Fullscreen.

Good, but somewhat problematic film based on a medieval serbian folktale. It's very much a child of it's time, riding the wave of serbian nationalism that exploded after Tito's death, and it certainly demonices muslims. We all know how well that ended. It's also very sexist. But Franco Nero is good as always and it's a violent and gritty film with attractive photography and a fairy tale/fantasy touch (even though there's no supernatural stuff going on as far as I remember) that I really enjoyed. Who can say no to that? 3/5